New worlds and Experiences

If ten years ago if you would have asked me if I would be willing to run in a pageant for men I would have laughed in your face.  Now I am looking at getting ready to start fundraising and putting together a kick ass show for my talent for Mr Gay AZ USofA.     I just think this all stems from me wanting to be a performer in any capacity I can be and loving being in front of people and it is a venue for me to be active in the gay community and perform without being a drag queen.   I dont like dressing as a girl so drag is out for me.  I am sitting back and watching this Competition in Houston and going HOLY CRAP.  I want to do this so bad and do it to win!    I am going to try and be more active on here btw...might launch this blog as its own website and possibly get away from blogspot.    Loves to all of you as always!!!


Your Friendly Neighborhood Circus Freak

Hey

So I look at my Stats from time to time and  I love to see people are reading my humble little blog :)...now this is a call to you reader....post a comment and let me know who you are!!!  Especially the person in Germany...and everyone outside the US :)

Being a Grown Up

So doing the personal trainer and group fitness thing is fun but sometimes makes me feel a lot like a grown up.  Being an Independent Contractor is great but also means that I am in charge of my own schedule and income and coming soon..TAXES!    While I like only having to deal with studio owners and not really having a boss it sucks because I have to put a tons of work into things like making sure I am working.  If I dont sit down and plot out my life for two weeks I am not making money.   It is stressful and makes me feel good like I can stand on my own two feet and I am in charge of my own destiney!

It does indeed get better

    Once again I have read a story on the internet about a young kid who killed himself due to bullying because of his sexuality.   This is so very wrong to me, and the other kids who were the main antagonists should be held responsible in some way.   These stories always strike me right at the heart because I have been there.  I was bullied from Jr. High through my first couple years of college.   One thing I do have to say because of it that Life gets better.  It seems like it is never ending and there is no light but there is.   I honestly want to cry every time I hear one of these stories.  Bullies in high school made me quit choir for a year.  They actually took away the one thing I loved and that was music.   Bullies from both gay men and straight men in college took bets on how to out me when I went to NAU.   These things are awful and should never be inflicted on anyone.   They have also driven me to think about killing myself on numerous occasions.  What saved me?  My family and friends...when the friends I had made fun of me because I was not comfortable with I was I made new friends.  Ones that love me and support me in everything I do.    I also have been blessed with a family that loves me for who I am.   The family part I know if not typical and I am very very lucky for them. 

 Outside of my circle of friends I do not know who reads this if anyone but that is a message I want to send out into the universe tonight, that no matter who you are...you are not alone.  No one is truly ever alone.  Killing yourself over what other people call you is never worth it.   No one can take away who you are and what you mean to the world.  My heart goes out to all the family who have lost sons and daughters due to people's inherit meanness and cruelty.   I sincerely hope that the kids who bully these children who cut their own lives short to end their torment have trouble sleeping at night.   

I know this was a super serious post but this has been nagging at me for a bit and brings up old scars.    Old wounds take the longest to heal but the lesson they give are worth more than anything.....

IT GETS BETTER!!!!!!

Happiness and Baking

Found an awesome recipe for Paleo Banana Bread and looking for a brownie recipe!!!!

One Month

So it has been one month since I moved  to the Valley of the Sun.   So far not bad.  Yeah I hate the traffic and the heat but I love the training and working more at La Fitness than I ever have.  Still worried about money but I am thinking positive and bringing it my way.   Need to go through my schedule with work and put in lifting again because I am fearing of losing muscle mass again and need to build.  Would be nice to pack on some good muscle and look more than just skinny lol

love this

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/oversight.png